


Your Hangover Pajamas Sir

by Anonymous



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alcohol, Gen, Past Torture, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:08:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26925619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: It's just you and me, bud. And we're playing house for some reason.(At no point do they question these two facts.)
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Tony Stark
Kudos: 3
Collections: Anonymous





	Your Hangover Pajamas Sir

"Here." Bucky gave him a poached egg with toast.

"Wow." It's a pretty egg.

"You're tired." Bucky took him up to a bedroom. The sun was trying to muscle through the curtains, giving the room a dark sepia look. This is, like, the scariest room ever, it's like the doll workshop in Blade Runner. "Bathroom on the left."

Tony glanced at himself in the dressing mirror and went to shower. 

"Cloths." Bucky announced in the hall.

Tony had a towel on his head because that's a great sight gag. Oh, fuck these floor clothes, be a man and silently sneak into the bathroom with your super-spy assassin feet. These were hang-over pajamas. That was Tony's excuse for sleeping in the bathtub next to the shower.

He did go around the house trying to find Bucky. He was outside with some goofy overly-modern try-hard music and a Coors. "Can you get the viruses off the computer, I'm not smart enough for it."

"You tried pressing the delete button."

"Nope. Want one?"

"Sure." Tony said, and Bucky took him round back to the garage where they also had Budweiser.

Tony took his sweet time with the virus. He still had his name. Tony Stark can put any virus he wants in your computer, and he can take it out, too. Bucky kind of scared the shit out of him when he came in with watermelon cubed in a ceramic bowl and water crackers arranged around pimento cheese. What the fuck is this. "Oh thanks." It's so fucked that computers have the time in the corner. "Anything else? You wanted me to do?"

"Mmhhh, I want to move it. One is not supposed to unplug the computer, but you probably know how." This guy is playing dumb. Oh my God, Tony is gonna have to teach Steve and Bucky computer safety. Lesson one, yeah, they could do with a power bank, but in what world can you never unplug a computer? There's, like, three plugs. "What?" Bucky said, interrupting Tony's condescension.

"Nothing. Here, pull it out, I'm not Ant Man." Oh my god who plugged this thing in for them, these wires are like a cable-knit sweater. Bucky moved the whole desk, once Tony'd untangled it.

"There."

"What's next." Tony snuck into the living room. 

"Turn on my TV." Bucky said, by which he meant it was running out of storage space which frustrated these old fucking men who didn't even have 8 channels they should be rockstars at streaming like fish in the water. "What do you want to watch." Bucky said after Tony'd fixed them up with the moovees.

"Whatever you want, that's the point of having a smart TV."

Bucky made Tony pick. Fuck it, they're watching a horror movie. They both just sat there drinking for three hours. Bucky was all smilie after the movie, and Tony followed him to bed. 

"Fresh cloths?" Bucky came out of the en-suite in sweats and a thermal shirt.

"I'm not lonely." Bucky said in the morning.

"Oh no, nothing to be lonely about." Tony said.

"Okay." James said. "You want to talk about it?" So they didn't.

Tony showed Bucky the TV again and he put on a movie and cleaned the kitchen. "Can I ask you a question." Bucky said, not bothering to speak up, being in another room and all.

"Yeah."

"What's mini-golf even for!" Bucky'd been sitting on this question for a long time. "I mean, who is it for. Kids? Drunk people?" 

"Ohh, mini-golf is for us. Let's go tonight."

"Night time." Bucky asked, quiet again, digging deeper into the 5 W's of mini-golf with a 'when'.

"I think so."

Bucky went outside, and Tony watched their TV. Frankly, it could do to be even fancier.

They went mini-golfing and got kicked out, because maybe they were drunk, you can't tell with Tony and a supersoldier, or maybe you DO get kicked out for not being drunk or kids but still ultimately acting like you're drunk or a kid. They watched Property Brothers, and Bucky announced himself before going to bed, so Tony kept that in mind.

Bucky rolled onto his stomach, face half hidden in the pillow. 

"What." Tony said. Bucky stopped watching him, and he hopped under the covers. "Come here. What's your good side?"

"My profile?"

Tony rolled his eyes, moving his head with it in the dark, and scootched a little and rolled into Bucky, who after wheezing for a confused half second, put his arm around him.

"Yeah. Okay. What. I'm not a fuzzy animal."

"You know 48 ways to kill me right now?"

"Pretty much."

"Well, just let me know."

"Yeah, I'll be sure to give you a head start."


End file.
